Dienstag, 25. Juni 2013

Words can't express everything



You are the sun. The sun doesn’t move, this is what it does. You are the Earth. The Earth is here for a start, and then the Earth moves around the sun. And now, we’ll have an explanation that simple folks like us can also understand, about immortality. All I ask is that you step with me into the boundlessness, where constancy, quietude and peace, infinite emptiness reign. And just imagine, in this infinite sonorous silence, everywhere is an impenetrable darkness. Here, we only experience general motion, and at first, we don’t notice the events that we are witnessing. The brilliant light of the sun always sheds its heat and light on that side of the Earth which is just then turned towards it. And we stand here in its brilliance. This is the moon. The moon revolves around the Earth. What is happening? We suddenly see that the disc of the moon, the disc of the moon, on the Sun’s flaming sphere, makes an indentation, and this indentation, the dark shadow, grows bigger… and bigger. And as it covers more and more, slowly only a narrow crescent of the sun remains, a dazzling crescent. And at the next moment, the next moment - say that it’s around one in the afternoon - a most dramatic turn of event occurs. At that moment the air suddenly turns cold. Can you feel it? The sky darkens, then goes all dark. The dogs howl, rabbits hunch down, the deer run in panic, run, stampede in fright. And in this awful, incomprehensible dusk, even the birds… the birds too are confused and go to roost. And then… Complete Silence. Everything that lives is still. Are the hills going to march off? Will heaven fall upon us? Will the Earth open under us? We don’t know. We don’t know, for a total eclipse has come upon us…

 But… but no need to fear. It’s not over. For across the sun’s glowing sphere, slowly, the Moon swims away. And the sun once again bursts forth, and to the Earth slowly there comes again light, and warmth again floods the Earth. Deep emotion pierces everyone. They have escaped the weight of darkness./werckmeister harmonies/

Mittwoch, 19. Juni 2013

Heaven is above us



"Es waren einmal Candy und Dan, nur die beiden ganz allein. 
In jenem Jahr ging's echt heiß her, das ganze Wachs schmolz in den Bäumen. Alles war golden. Er sah gut aus und er war ein sehr guter Verbrecher. Sie lebten von Sonnenlicht und Schokoriegeln. Er kletterte auf Balkone, kletterte überall hin, er tat alles für sie. Tausende Vögel, die allerkleinsten Vögel schmückten ihr Haar.
Du bist sehr schnell in mein Leben getreten und das hat mir gefallen. Du hast so viel versprochen, du hast zum Himmel gezeigt und gesagt: 'Der da heißt Sirius oder auch Hundestern. Aber nur hier auf der Erde.'
Die letzten Sonnenstrahlen fallen ein wie Haie. Es war der Nachmittag verschwenderischer Lust.
Eines Nachts fing das Bett Feuer und es tat sich ein Abgrund auf zwischen den Dingen und die ganze Erde neigte sich.
Wie liebe ich doch dieses Sausen in den Ohren. Denn ich kann nur eine Sache lieben. Und du kannst es nicht sein. 
Danny der Draufgänger, Candy ging verloren."

“Once upon a time, there was Candy and Dan. Things were very hot that year. All the wax was melting in the trees. He would climb balconies, climb everywhere, do anything for her, oh Danny boy. Thousands of birds, the tiniest birds, adorned her hair. Everything was gold. One night the bed caught fire. He was handsome and a very good criminal. We lived on sunlight and chocolate bars. It was the afternoon of extravagant delight. Danny the daredevil. Candy went missing. The days last rays of sunshine cruise like sharks. I want to try it your way this time. You came into my life really fast and I liked it. We squelched in the mud of our joy. I was wet-thighed with surrender. Then there was a gap in things and the whole earth tilted. This is the business. This, is what we’re after. With you inside me comes the hatch of death. And perhaps I’ll simply never sleep again. The monster in the pool. We are a proper family now with cats and chickens and runner beans. Everywhere I looked. And sometimes I hate you. Friday — I didn’t mean that, mother of the blueness. Angel of the storm. Remember me in my opaqueness. You pointed at the sky, that one called Sirius or dog star, but on here on earth. Fly away sun. Ha ha fucking ha you are so funny Dan. A vase of flowers by the bed. My bare blue knees at dawn. These ruffled sheets and you are gone and I am going to. I broke your head on the back of the bed but the baby he died in the morning. I gave him a name. His name was Thomas. Poor little god. His heart pounds like a voodoo drum.”
 /film: Candy/


Summer begins with pancakes

it's summer wow. the school is over and I feel myself like reborn. I celebrated my 19th birthday on Monday, and I had so much fun with my friends, first of all we went to a pizzeria to eat some tasty pizzas, then we drunk wine in a pub, on Friday we travelled to a lovely town Eger, where we drunk so much Shakes, and ate a lot of gyros, the weather was amazing but unfortunately too hot. However, I bought 2 T-shirts and shoes as well. the next day my sister and her lovely boyfriend visited me and I got a nice H&M Gutschein (don't know the english for it), my mother cooked a tasty meal and baked a nice strawberry cake for me so everything was the best, and we also took some outfit pics in the woods. on sunday me and my soulsister Anna travelled to Budapest to take part in a really good program: sleep party people concert. OMG! can you believe it? well, I couldn't. Sleep party people is one of my fav bands and see them live was so ridiculously elevating! The concert was really unbelievable, these danish boys know how to make good music! so that was the moment, when Kinga fell in love with a bunny haha :D After the concert we went back to Tomasz' home and we talked to each other the whole night. we cooked spaghetti and it was really delicious but the next day we were soooo tired and the weather was unendurable hot... 
yesterday I went with my closest friends to a restaurant and we ate pancakes...it was unforgettable haha :D I have 3 free days, then I travel to a holiday with my family and Sziszi, so we'll have a great time again. this summer seems to be really memorable but too short. the next year will be horror! 

I love my new earrings from efoxcity!  it looks so stunning in my ears and they fit to everything! efoxcity is a really great online shop, where you can find evening dress or homecoming dress but you can also buy cheap quinceanera dress 
the new ring is from clothingloves,which is a wholesale clothing from china so if you don't know where to buy cheap clothing just take a look at this online shop. I especially love prom dresses 2013


and let me introduce you my fav dresses from persunmall.com! so if you would like to buy one shoulder bridesmaid dresses , just take a look at it!
oh and I got a nice new phone to my birthday so I have instagram now, you can follow me if you want: coldinvitation

Montag, 10. Juni 2013

Lieben ist Scherben fressen, warten wieviel Blut man dann kotzt



Als ich ein ganz kleines Mädchen war, hörte ich oft, wie meine Schwester mit ihren Freundinnen ständig über die Jungs redet. Dann sind sie alle immer still geblieben, als ich in der Nähe war, als würde ich nur Bahnhof verstehen. Jeder unterschätzt die Jüngeren. Als meine Schwester mit ihrem Freund Schluss gemacht hat, obwohl sie fünf wundervolle Jahre in größter Liebe verbracht haben, hat ihr Herz gebrochen und sie hat monatelang manchmal ununterbrochen geweint. Es war für mich mehr als kompliziert zu verstehen, warum ein Liebespaar so schnell fremdgehen kann, aber von dem Moment an haben sie miteinander nie wieder kontaktiert und ich habe gefasst, dass sie nicht wegen ihm so traurig und wütend war, sondern wegen der Zeitverschwendung mit ihm. Sie hat Familienausflüge- und reisen verpasst, damit sie mit ihrem Freund zusammen sein kann, und meine Eltern waren so tolerant, dass sie alle ihre Entscheidungen akzeptiert haben. Ich habe mit eigenen Augen gesehen, wie er sie innerlich kaputtgemacht hat, meine eigene Schwester, und ich konnte nichts dagegen tun. Dann habe ich mir geschworen, dass ich niemals, niemals, nie und nimmer zulasse, dass jemand mir so wehtut. Ich werde nicht stehen und warten, bis jemand kommt und mein Herz bricht. Wenn es nötig ist, beleidige ich den anderen oder breche sein Herz, aber er wird nichts davon erfahren, was er mir angetan hat. Und ich habe mir auch versprochen, dass ich niemals Zeit dafür nehme, über die Jungs nachzudenken.
Ich habe schon gelernt, wie ich meine Gefühle ausschalten kann, und diese Funktion geht manchmal so gut, dass ich zu empfinden aufhöre. Ich habe eine große Wand um mich herum gebaut, die nie zu fallen scheint. Und so lebt ein junges Mädchen im einundzwanzigsten Jahrhundert, die immer vermeidet verletzt zu werden, die immer allein einschläft und allein aufwacht, die nur auf sich selbst verlassen kann, bis alle anderen versuchen ihre eigenen Probleme zu lösen und sich um ihre eigenen Angelegenheiten zu kümmern. Schade. Wir alle sollten unsere Tränen abwischen und endlich mal lernen, wie man auf eigenen Beinen steht. Wir sollten unabhängig sein, unsere Ruhe finden, und sagen, dass es uns gut geht. Wenn du es oft sagst, wirst du es nach einer Weile glauben.

When I was a little girl, I’ve heard a lot my sister and her friends talking about guys all day long. They said nothing when I was close to them, and they thought I really don’t understand anything. How lovely that people are always sure you are a bastard just because you are young. When my sister broke up with her boyfriend, although they had a beautiful relationship for five years, so after they separated, my sister looked broken and cried a lot in the next few months. It was scary to see that they got so cold to each other after all those years they spent together hand in hand. They broke up and the situation was as if nothing had ever happened. My sister was really angry but confused and after a while I understood the reason. She cried not for him, she cried for the waste of time with him. She chosed to have fun with him instead of going on crazy trips with her family and my parents were so tolerant that they accepted her decisions. I saw with my own eyes how the guy destroyed my sister’s soul, and I couldn’t do anything against it. That was the moment I made a resolution that I’ll never let anyone hurt me or break my heart. If it’s necessary I’ll take the first step and I’ll break his heart but I’ll never let somebody see me broken. And I also promised myself I’ll never overthink a situation about guys who like me. Because it makes you insane, just believe me!
I’ve already learnt how to put my feelings in my pocket, and sometimes it works so good that I forget how to feel anything. I built a big wall around myself that should stay forever. And that’s how a young woman lives in the 21th century, without feeling sick because of her feelings, that’s a story of a girl who falls asleep and gets up alone, without feeling lonely, while everybody else is trying to solve the problems. What a pity. We all should learn how to be happy alone or at least satisfied and we must find our profession in the life, and say everything’s gonna be okay. The more you say, the better you believe it.

Dienstag, 4. Juni 2013

This world sucks, so I made my own

This week is so horror, school tests and exams so I'm stressed, depressed but well dressed the whole fucking time. I don't have much time to create a post, so I randomly decided to show you my fav photos and quotes. These pictures are me. That's what I like, that's who I am, that's how I look like inside. let's get inspired!

"Und eigentlich ist das Einzige was du im Leben tun musst atmen, trinken, essen, schlafen. Alles Andere ist im Grunde nur eine Illusion. Nichts davon brauchen wir zum Leben."