Me and my lovely friends celebrated 3 birthdays at about 2 months ago. 2 months OMG! It seems like it was yesterday. I feel pain and disappointment if I think of the fact I’ll be 19 in June. It makes me sick. All those years are behind us, but we haven’t even lived enough! So my lovelies’ birthday just showed me the importance of living true and unconditional. Hm, what could I say? These little girls have always been my friends, they are my second family. It’s scary to see the old photos about us, when we looked soo young and ugly. I could never forget the funny clothes we had on, when we celebrated our 9th birthday. And I’ve never thought, they will be on my side 10 years later too. We found each other’s hand, and we never let each other down or in trouble. So we are about nineteen, and I feel myself old. I think our younger days are gone when we ran in the garden or told horror stories in the bed. When we were playing badminton all day long, and we didn’t care about our personality, feelings, or look. We loved being together, loved the smell of the cold wind, we enjoyed every moment of being young and free. And now? I’m sitting in the balcony, listening to Low Roar, looking the sky and thinking about guys, success, school stress, and sweet kisses. And I feel empty. But don’t think it’s negative, don’t take this wrong way, it doesn’t mean I’m depressed, it’s just, something changed and I didn’t even notice it. It’s all about growing. I grew up with these girls, and I have a strange addiction to them.
Bogi is my funny bunny, who always makes me smile and laugh, if I get bored or sad. I remember the first day we went to the same class in the high school and she was really shy and self-respecting so everybody thought she’ll do everything instead of them. Once a guy said to her: „Just wash the table, understood?” and she answered on her high but strong voice: „Do it alone, you fuckhead” That was the moment I knew she’ll be my best friend. Well, we are interested in the same things, and she is such an interesting person with two personalities and faces: she is amazingly shy but she gets angry very soon, and yes she is weird too. She is weird enough for me. We are the biggest nerds in the class, or maybe in the school, and we always go together to everywhere. Our friendship is just so instinctive and I love her with my cold and heartless heart. If I get sad she starts to sing really tiring songs I especially hate and she doesn’t stop till I start to smile. Then she laughs and says: „you are such an asshole. Everybody hates you.” So I forget my sorrow and I just say: „ Well, at least I’m not such an annoying bitch like you!” and we start to laugh and nobody understands. She is so amazing.
Szilvi was the first girl I got on well with. We were classmates in the primary school, but I can’t really remember the date, when we finally figured out how lovely the other person is. She is fabulous. I’ve never enjoyed anything so much than doing something with her. I can remember, she always wanted to be an actress, and I wanted to be a model. So we did a lot of interviews together, like we were from Hollywood. We just lied in the bed and laughed so much that we felt pain in our stomach. We sang along loads of songs, we slept together every weekend, we imagined we are witches, we cooked, watched TV and did everything together. I loved our younger days because our friendship was always so true. And it makes me smile again and again, when she says: „You know, maybe they didn’t like me because I’m not like them. I’m so strange.” And she is right, that’s why I love her. Normal people are not my business. I need somebody who has personality, who has crazy plans and sweet dreams in her mind, who is always looking for fun and weirdness. Who doesn’t want to be like everybody else, who is on her own way. I remember us, when we were so ridiculously young, and we spent our whole time together and I was such a happy person. Now we don’t see each other so often, because we are always busy, but I love, so love her anyway.
Anna is my photographer, my soulmate, my true lover, she is sometimes everything I have. What could I say more? She is my heavenly creature, a weird, crazy and extraordinary girl, who speaks less, but thinks more. Sometimes I think, we are too weird for this world. That we are never gonna find our fate, the job, that makes us happy, a boy, who makes us feel we are special. We live in our dream world, with all those feelings we hide, but sometimes they come up and they make our life to hell. It’s hard to live here. And we two hate it together. First, when we were 8 years old, I thought she is really boring, but after a while I realised she is a rugged diamond and from that day we are like sisters. I should punch in the face of the guys, who make her cry, because she doesn’t deserve to be left alone. Well, nobody does. But it’s like I always say: Don’t cry for him, OMG, I just can’t understand it, why you are so stupid to feel yourself bad because of him. And then something happens and suddenly comes a changeover, so I’m the person who is left alone so it sucks. We have the same fate too. Sometimes we just say each other fuck you, but we say it with so much love. I hope we go through the things, that may hurt us. I hope, one day we forget how it is to be sad and lost. So we lost our reputation and we forgot our truth but we have our beauty and we have the youth.
Ich bitte euch um Entschuldigung, ich hatte keine Zeit und Energie für die Übersetzung, aber sowas kommt natürlich nie wieder vor :)